Assert Dominance – You’ve got to let your roommate know from the start that you lay down the law. Decorate your room by putting your name above the door and claiming the room to be yours. For example, if your name is Hannah, drape “Hannah’s Room” across the main entrance. Taping pictures of yourself all over the walls wouldn’t hurt either.
10. It gets too cold to function in daily life. If it is not located in your building odds are you aren’t going. You will never ever catch anyone outside unless it is a student forcibly fighting for the life of their attendance policy. Nobody is trying to get frostbite while being slapped in the face with negative degree sleety wind. 9. The moment it gets remotely warm outside you have to duck and dodge the obnoxious amounts of footballs and Frisbees being chucked at your head. Even with all the grass space over the entire campus, guys still decide to throw things at each other in the middle of the sidewalks with tons of people trying to walk through. 8. Not all the dorms on campus have air conditioners. But the residents of the ones who do will need about 5 layers of clothing, a giant heating pad, and 12 blankets to keep warm. As soon as the
10. There is no excuse you can give us that we haven’t tried to use in the past. A lot of us are just graduating or are still students ourselves. You can’t play the player, we know the game all too well. 9. Most of the assignments are not from us. We have a boss that tells us exactly what to give you. Trust me, we don’t want to grade or talk about any of that crap just as bad as you want to do it. 8. It probably seems like your TA plays favorites. That’s because we do. I definitely have my favorite students and yes, it plays a role when I’m grading. Some of you are so annoying and childish I don’t even know how you made it to college at all. 7. Even though I’m technically the teacher, we’re all about the same age. I crush on some of
10. Without ever engaging in any type of conversation, you’ve already hyped this person up so much in your head that you could sell them to anyone. They just so happen to be amazingly talented and great at everything. The ideal person, no other human being could ever come close. 9. You only need to catch your crush walking to class one time to confirm that they are destined to be a supermodel strutting down some famous person’s runway. You have never seen anyone walk like they do. Just look how one foot goes in front of the other, magical. 8. Life suddenly goes into slow motion with every move they make. Simple head nods turn into hair flips and strip teases in your head. All for you. 7. It doesn’t matter how dumb the tattoos are, they’re all artistic in their own majestic way. When you have arms built for lifelong cuddling with the strength to make a marriage
10. “I got arrested.” Not saying this can’t happen, but I’m pretty sure your professor might be a little curious as to how you’re sending an email from a jail cell. Only the absolute best on the spot liars could pull this one off. 9. “My roommate got super drunk and puked all over my assignment. It took me all week to finish so I’ll probably need another week to redo it.” You’re better off saying they puked on your computer and damaged it. Odds are, your teacher is just going to look at you like you are stupid and tell you to reprint it. 8. “My apartment got struck by lightening and all the locks welded shut.” This is probably one of most extreme excuses I’ve heard. One of the key points to successfully getting out of anything is making sure your story is at least believable. 7. “I’m in the hospital right
